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A Heavy Heart

4/17/2015

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Hi everyone, I'm sad to to say that my friend Ann Pardo's body was found last weekend. I have been struggling with this for the almost 2 weeks of her being missing and this last week for knowing she's gone. I haven't slept much and have had to put on the happy face while my heart was breaking.  I know I'm not the first nor the only one whose gone or is  going through this kind of sadness.

Depression and sleep loss go hand in hand. It kind of creates a domino effect. Continued sleep dysfunction can lead to some other serious issues. Sleep loss can affect mood, weight, thoughts and on & on. It creates hormonal problems with various hormones working at the wrong times and your bodys' systems going crazy. It can increase blood pressure and contribute to diabetes.

I did mange to get a good chunk of sleep last night though. I don't know if it was from being so sleep deprived/starved or from having gone to a memorial for Ann yesterday at work and being able to say good-bye. These things, memorials, do allow one to close that chapter a bit and release some of the stressors. There were stories of joy and some hearty laughter that would've pleased Ann to the fullest. I am still having small crying moments but thats ok. Thats what Kleenex is for. I will also go to the full memorial at a church next weekend. More tissue, please.

I started working out in the pool this week. If I had an open hour I went out & did some deep water work, I got in with my pool classes (3 of them this week) and stayed out after & kicked some laps with a kickboard. I needed to keep moving. Every time I stopped, I started to dwell on my sadness and would begin to cry. I tried to turn a negative into a positive. Not sure if I succeeded or not, but I think I did. I still thought of Ann but I did some work on myself as well. It didn't hurt to burn some more calories off of my person either.

Ann loved to dance and had been taking Flamenco dance for the last few years. That was one style I really wanted to try and we had talked about my joining her some time. I know I missed that opportunity to dance with her but I can honor her by going myself in the near future and learning a new way to express myself.

Be at peace my funny, beautiful, wonderful friend.

Keep dancing. Peace out.
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    Judi Edelen

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